Home » Blogging, Contest, Ego, Honesty, People, Self, Think, Wonder » Blowing My Trumpet… Loud!

Blowing My Trumpet… Loud!

January 28, 2012 Posted by Hajra under Blogging, Contest, Ego, Honesty, People, Self, Think, Wonder
68 Comments

Before going on to actually discussing my problem; do check out the book reviews I have done at Diana Simon’s blog and at Danielle’s blog.

If you have noticed I have a bit of a problem these days.

I am blowing my own trumpet way too much these days. Now, why am I doing that? Many reasons. For those of you who were wonderful enough to drop by, do know the root cause. I have a post up for a contest and I am desperately trying to play catch up and win it. For those of you who don’t know, please go and comment bomb it right now. See, I just promoted myself again… I have a problem.

And while you are at it, comment bomb Allie’s post too. That girl is awesome and she deserves some love!

Coming back to the problem; why do I think I have it? Again, for those enlightened ones, I did leave my job last month and there is about a week before I join the new one. (Say yayy everybody!) So, all my energy goes into blogging. My relatives actually say this “If you are calling to tell us about your contest post, please disconnect”. Hmm… see, I have a problem.

Am I blowing my own horns or am I just trying to win? Let’s debate 
Go trumpet, it is needed!

Everywhere I go, I am supposed to tell people how good I am. At a recent job interview, I was asked this “why do you think you are better than the other candidates” ; “why do you think we should hire you”. Okay, not out and right trumpeting but yes, a certain amount of blowing my own horns story. Why I am better than the rest.  So you see, it is more of a requirement. Unless and until I don’t do it, it might be considered as a “lack of confidence”.  I can’t help it, I need to tell them how good I am..actually.

Be modest, behave!

Since when was praising yourself a good thing. I mean you blow the horns too loud and people call you “overconfident” (who coined that term). As a kid, mommy cold stared you when you told the other girls how your dress was pretty – er! And you might have to eat veggies for dinner if you told them your dad was the strongest and had the best car! Trumpet blowing was an offense and “modesty” was the norm.

What do we conclude?

Actually nothing. It is good, it is bad. I will do it when I need it. And I will bite my tongue when mommies’ cold stare replays itself in my head and I can’t block it away.

What is your take?

When was the last time you blew your trumpet loud and noisy? Does trumpet blowing have limits? How do you define those limits?

BTW Did you comment on my contest post? … Man, I still have that problem!

 

  • Roberta Budvietas

    There is a difference between bragging, boasting and telling the truth. You are who you are. And you are totally unique. 

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Roberta,

      I like how you put in in clear terms! But sometimes telling the truth might be confused for bragging too… is that our fault or the others problem? Thoughts?

  • Anonymous

    Hi Hajra

    I think we
    all do it from time to time and I guess it is okay. It is more how we do it and
    how often we do it that is the issue. If you say: “I am proud of myself
    and my work and could need your help to tell the world about it” I think
    you will be fine. On the other hand if you say “I am the best and all the
    rest are useful” you might have a problem. Hope that somehow make sense ;)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Thomas,

      That makes perfect sense. Being aware of what we are and what best we have in ourselves is fine; but comparing and contrasting yourself with others is where the problem comes into picture! Thanks a lot for stopping by! Hope the movie was good :)

  • http://www.liveandlovework.com Chrysta Bairre

    Confidence is a positive trait, and it doesn’t become overconfidence simply by being repeated. All of us, women especially, need to blow our trumpets loud and noisy more often!

    When blowing my trumpet goes wrong is when I’m doing so at someone else’s expense or my expectations of others. I must take care of myself first, though it’s important to consider others, too.

    I am proud of myself for asking for help and lauding my accomplishments! Other people are free to say no when I ask for help, and they are free to take what they like of me and leave the rest. As long as I am not taking advantage of others for my own gain, there’s nothing wrong with being confident and requesting support!

    Chrysta

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Chrysta!

      Lol! You think women need more of trumpet blowing… like men don’t seem to have enough of it already! :)

      I like the way people have talked about confidence here and have talked about how confidence is really all right and shouldn’t be mistaken for bragging! 

      It is important to think about others but those who walk all over you, need to be reminded that you have a mind :)

      Thanks so much for stopping by! 

  • http://twitter.com/bdorman264 Bill Dorman

    Toot, toot; for you I think it’s ok because you are so giving in return. Others, who are definitely ‘takers’ it can have an icky feel to it.  This week was crazy for me; I tried to carpet bomb and will try to get back but sometimes that real job just gets in the way….:)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Bill,

      Thanks for the compliment in there :) You did bomb the post and believe me, if we lived closer I would definitely be sharing that money with you! :)  

      No problem, you’re the insurance guy! We know how busy you are! :) Thanks so much!

  • http://twitter.com/rachel_howells Rachel Howells

    I don’t think people should boast unless specifically asked about their strengths and talents, as with a job interview or admissions committee. Other than that, I think humility demonstrates honour, strength and confidence. Only the insecure feel the need to brag without prompting. :-)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Rachel,

      I like that perspective. Blowing the trumpet only when we need to otherwise better not! I like the use of the word humility in this context! Thanks for showing us a nicer perspective to this! :)

  • http://www.late-bloomers.net Barbara Klein

    Hey Hajra,

    Love your post, your writing has changed over the last days, ever so often I catch myself laughing out loud at your comments. Oops, not meaning what could be implied here, I always liked your sense of humour, but it has a nice bite (and still respectful) to it now.

    Do I know these cold Mommy stares? You bet: do not brag, do not boast, do not speak about your feelings, do give and do not take.  How does this prepare us for modern days challenges? Not so well, but given the chance of uncounted job interviews these days, we know our strong and weak points and how to relate them to a job’s requirements. 

    You are doing a fine job playing the horn, a nice tune with a very catchy refrain!

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Barbara,

      That’s my plan… make every one a lil crazy.. one laugh at a time :) I am all gleaming by that compliment! I am so glad you like what I have to say.. sometimes even I don’t like what I have to say ;)

      I think we had the same mom incarnated in two different people! It absolutely makes you such a weakling given the modern day wants and needs. Sometimes I think how I got to be this person… :)

      Thanks so much; I plan to play it all the more loud! You just made my day! :)

      • http://www.late-bloomers.net Barbara Klein

        Hey Hajra,

        LOL (did I ever tell you I hate all the abbreviations, mainly because I do not understand them), told the Swiss incarnation about her twin, she just asked “what is an Indian girl doing in Abu Dhabi?” and wants to reassure you it is safe to walk Chica!

        I have heart the trumpet, this is a concert on main street.  

        • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

          Lol! I loved the reply :) Playing the trumpet again!

  • http://www.vidyasury.com Vidya Sury

    I am very glad you blew your trumpet. That’s a very kickass post you have over at Jane’s. You’ll win.

    Great to have met you.  Looking forward to more interaction!

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Vidya,

      Lol! Thanks for reading and dropping a lovely comment! I hope I do… the competition is very tough! 

      Looking forward to drop by at your place! :)

  • http://biz.leoraw.com/ Leora Wenger

    Hajra,

    Some people toot and never listen.  You clearly listen!  Some don’t toot enough.  I always ask myself – how do I say so in a way that people can hear?  And am I telling the right people?  Some are more open to hearing ones accomplishments.  You’ve got the right pattern here – say something important about yourself, and then ask others their opinion.  Listen, and respond.  We all can learn from that.

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Leora,

      So I toot and I listen… that makes me an okay tooter :) Listening is so important. I think the reason I became a shrink was that people thought I didn’t listen so much as a kid… now I just listen all the time! :)

      Thanks so much for dropping by! Remind me..I haven’t been to your blog for some time now… off I go! :)

  • Cath

    The others made excellent comments so I will just say I don’t blow my own trumpet, but have found that it is ok to accept compliments about your abilities and not feel guilty. I think you have a level head and are well balanced. :D

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Cath!

      I am flying high with that compliment! :)

  • Derek Potocki

    Hi Hajra,
    Derek frm Goalsblogger here.
    You are talking about the continuum:
    I’M A PIECE OF S#$%T (on one side) I’M CONCEITED (on the other side)
    Oh the beauty of life. Not easy, not easy. We need to position ourselves somewhere in the middle of this line, which the ancients call moderation I believe. Any movement towards each of the opposites gets us in trouble. 
    Thank you for a fun post. Greetings:)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      I like the two ends of the continuum! 

      No matter where we position ourselves we should be aware of why we are doing what we are doing and how justifiable it is! Thanks for dropping by!

  • http://www.whatlittlethings.com Samantha Bangayan

    Wow! I had no idea you had a new job coming up, Hajra! YAYY indeed! =) I hope it’s exactly what you’re looking for. And I hear you on the good and the bad of blowing our trumpets. Personally, I always feel uncomfortable doing so, even if I need to do it. =P Now that I think about it, maybe it’s because I can’t get rid of mommy’s disapproving face. =P

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Yup! Will message you the details :) It is not exact.. but it is better than before! I used to feel uncomfortable even when I had to; but then sometimes you just have to. Like at job interviews, not sounding all conceited but the sense of confidence and belief in your abilities might work to your advantage!

      Lol! Mommy’s the world over…. why that face? ;)

  • Lalia

    I like Roberta’s comment.. the difference is all in the attitude ;)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Yup.. the way you look at it makes all the difference!

  • http://www.ramblingsofawahm.com AllieRambles

    Hajra,

    It is hard to promote oneself and also be modest.  I think the key is to show confidence and never put anyone else down in the process.  And I think you are doing perfect.  We all know you are modest, so go ahead and promote yourself. Lol.

    ~Allie

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      You are in the same boat :) It is getting tough and I feel I have to rethink so many things! Thanks so much for the support; I just comment bombed your post today! Making up for not having comment luv! 

      • http://www.ramblingsofawahm.com AllieRambles

        I have a new post today! COMMENT BOMB away! It’s a guest poster, she won’t know what hit her. LOL.

        • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

          Ok, when I am there; I might comment bomb! Really, with all the craze for back links; she really won’t know what is hitting her :) EVIL LAUGH!!!

  • http://www.parmfarm.com/blog1/what-you-could-learn-from-justin-bieber/ Amy Parmenter

    Okay…as long as you’re supporting the behavior — I too, wrote about blowing your own horn in a popular (me again…) post entitled “What you could learn from Justin Bieber.”  bottom line is most people who we idolize or celebrate got there by promoting themselves.  I am a reporter, and I see it every day — even in a celebrity business like news.  Those who believe in themselves and shamelessly promote themselves go farther.   period.  it’s been a tough lesson to learn because I wasn’t raised that way — but I think it’s tougher for women than men.  But, it works.  So…brag on…

    Amy Parmente
    The ParmFarm

    • Amy

      oops.  can’t spell my own name.  that’s Parmenter!

      • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

        Ok, we get your right name now! :)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Lol! I ain’t any celebrity..maybe I have to learn how to be one… but I might have to shed off my modesty to quite an extent! It is a gender thing you think? Men like bragging about accomplishment; maybe it makes them feel “manly”; but we women think too much before saying anything! 

      Off to check your post now…! 

  • http://twitter.com/LifeCoachingPro Sylviane Nuccio

    Great job, Hajra. I am a bit out of the loop about the contest itself, but I am sure that there is going to be a winner, somehow, right? If that’s the case, I hope you win. You’ve been working hard, gal :)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Sylviane;

      It is getting tough because I am a little tired by asking for help! :) It is a little confusing for me!

      I am trying my best and that is the fun part for me! Thanks so much!

      P.S. I see a new gravatar :)

  • http://adriennesmith.net/ Adrienne

    I actually have a problem with blowing my own horn.  Carolyn over at the Wonder of Tech gets upset with me sometimes when I’ll write a guest post somewhere but not let anyone know.  I just don’t want anyone to feel obligated I suppose but then again, I get upset when they don’t tell me they’re guest posting because I want to show my support and comment.  I see it can go both ways.

    I admire you for participating in the contest Hajra, I’ve yet to enter one myself.  Time consuming is my only excuse but for these I think you deserve this opportunity to toot your own horn.  I’m just happy to be able to do my small part.  And you know I commented and shared so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.

    Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one that got those stares when we were kids.  :-)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Adrienne,

      You should be doing more horn tooting girl! Going by the amazing community you have over at your blog and your ability to churn out such great posts time and again; I am surprised you wouldn’t let people know about your guest post! People will be thronging your post… big time! :) And you worked for it , you worked for building that community and having that interaction so it isn’t really blowing your horn, think of it as letting all the hard work pay! :)

      It’s like a two way thing sweetie! We let you know about our posts; we want to know about your posts too! :)

      I can’t thank you enough for your comment and shares at that! It is tough beating the competition out there but I have you guys supporting me through it! I have my fingers crossed too!

      Really, what’s up with mommies ;)  

  • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

    You have to be your own advocate because no one else will do it for you.

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Aye, aye Captain ;)

  • http://www.logallot.com/ Sonia

    There is nothing with tooting your own horn every once in a while. People should be proud of their accomplishments and at least you take pride in your work. It says allot about the person and that they truly worked hard to get where they are. There is a big difference from showing off and being down right ignorant. Confidence is a trait people strive years to get. You either have it or you don’t. You go girl!

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Sonia,

      Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel I might be crossing the line and overdoing it; I thought it was time to pause and think whether I really am crossing it! Thanks for the support! Have a lovely day!

  • http://profiles.google.com/jpage.manuel Joy Page Manuel

    I blow my own trumpet every time I post a new blog entry and then go to my various social media sites to post it / advertise it.  I think that is an act of blowing one’s trumpet.  And it’s necessary to some extent isn’t it?  We all need to believe in what we do, what we’re capable of and of who we are.  As long as you’re comfortable with it, then go ahead and do it!  My philosophy is that people who can’t take it have their own choices.  Don’t worry about them.  Just worry about yours.  So….blow your trumpet away Hajra! :-)

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Joy,

      It sure is! But with the contest thing I feel I am overdoing it… actually “forcing” people to come and comment and share and all. 

      I like the positive attitude in the comment. I am just so honored to interact with such wonderful people who keep believing in me! :)

      Off to blow the trumpet!

  • http://twitter.com/Soulati Jayme Soulati

    OK, so I went already; dang girl — more than 208 comments. That’s rockin’ it! Was that all I needed to do?

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Lol! Thanks! The competition has 260 comments! And my fingers are wearing off trying to pimp my post ;)  

      Thanks so much! Every single comment is more than precious… You are wonderful! :)

  • Pingback: Quotes, Trumpets, Porn, Locker Rooms and a Blogging Contest | Ramblings of a WAHM

  • Anonymous

    Hi Hajra,
    I am rather embarrassed that I have been so slow in heading over to your nice home here…I LIKE it here!! Your writing is fun, energetic (like you) and interesting.  I DO believe that this is indeed a time and place to toot your own horn, but like you and others here, it was definitely not something that was encouraged when I was growing up…quiet modesty was encouraged…to the  point that when someone ELSE toots my horn for me, I am embarrassed and uncomfortable even though it is not me tooting the horn….sigh….
    So I say, toot away…you have something to be proud of and you should share it loudly (I might have realized you had this nice home here earlier if your were tooting more ;-)  
    Claudia

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Pretty Dentist!

      Don’t be embarrassed; I am the kind of person who will pester you into coming if you don’t show up after a long time!

      So yes, I am with you, the tooting was less! I should have done it more1 ;)

      I think our parents do a nice job of raising us up like good kids and modesty is lesson no one! So, when we do toot, we think of the lines we might be crossing. I think it a childhood rearing thing! 

      Thanks for dropping by Claudia! 

  • Mikeymike3004

    Hajra, I do think being confident in yourself is not a bad thing but you have to be careful with arrogance.  I wrote a piece on a similar subject.  You might like it. http://www.teach-yourself-guide.com/2012/01/28/confidence-or-arrogance-the-qualities-of-good-leadership/

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Mike,

      Crossing the line is something one has to be very careful about! I will check out your posts right away!

  • http://twitter.com/sweepyjean Sweepy (A D Joyce)

    I think there’s nothing wrong with blowing your own horn, meaning self promotion and being confident enough to recognize your strengths. Sometimes, it’s the only way to get ahead of the pack. It seems women have a harder time with it than men do. I think we are taught to be more modest. Keep it up! I’m on my way to comment on your guest post! ;p

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hi Adrienne!

      You think it is a gender thing too? Many people have conveyed that! Thanks so much for all the support sweetie! 

      Getting ahead of the pack is really tough given the competition these days! Maybe having the confidence does get one places!

      Thanks so much!

  • Anonymous

    As long as you are doing what you say and saying what you d you will be fine…

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Makes so much sense! Thanks!

  • http://stanfaryna.wordpress.com Stan Faryna

    The thing about horns is they make the most beautiful sounds… when they are blown for others. [warm smile]

    Ask others to blow their horns for you.

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Stan,

      I like people blowing my horns for me ;) Off to ask them to do it more often!

  • Annavi John

    Blowing the Trumpet. Just another way out. But it must be properly blown with rhythm……

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      I am trying my best to work on the rhythm!

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      I am trying my best to work on the rhythm!

  • http://www.catherine-alexandra.com Catherine “Cat” Alexandra

    Dear Hajra, 

    This was very well done and you sure do bring up a good point about the difference between unearned bragging versus warranted self-promotion!

    I think people tend to be their own worst critics and don’t always realize that what they have accomplished and what they do are worthy of praise. – And moreso, that what they offer can really help others, but only if others can get to know about these accomplishments and offerings!

    I have been blowing my trumpet a good deal lately, as you saw from my own blog! :D I think that if there are limits to what is warranted horn blowing versus “hot windbagging” (lol) it’s probably not so clearly defined, so we need to always act within the bounds of professionalism and do our best to be objective about how we share and what we say. 

    Great thought-provoker here, Hajra! Very much appreciated!

    Cat Alexandra

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Cat,

      I am so in love with your comment! :)

      I think we grow up being taught to be our own critic and be harsh at it; and somehow we always come across people who make bragging seem to easy! I like the way you blow your trumpet though! Makes it so much fun! As long as we are confident in who and what we are and not hurting others in any way, self praising a little bit shouldn’t be such a problem! 

      Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

  • http://www.techpupil.com Jeevan Jacob John

    Hey Hajra,

    First of all, thanks for all those good comments you left at my blog. Coming back to your post,

    I think there are positives and negatives to promoting yourself or bragging (just like everything else):

    Positives:

    Bragging/promoting yourself is the only way you can start. For instance: If you are a new blogger, you really do need to spend a lot of time promoting yourself. You have to reach your audience through promoting.

    And when it comes to bragging, you have to do that too. Tell your audience, why they should listen to you :D

    Negatives:

    As you can guess, too much of self promotion and bragging really hurts (Too much of everything hurts). You should promote your content, but along with that promote others too. Help them out :D

    Best of luck with the contest,

    Jeevan

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Jeevan,

      Thanks so much for stopping by! :)  

      You have the pros and cons to this! Helping others is indeed a good way but there has to be a limit to which one promotes themselves. Out and right bragging has to be differentiated from proficiency! 

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • Pingback: Mixed Epiphanies: @Yogizilla @marcandangel @ginidietrich @tom_peters @marcus_baker #blogsoup « The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna

  • http://releasingmetoday.com/ Deeone Higgs

    You know they have medication for that…. hold on for just a moment, let me go get the name off of my prescription bottle. :D

    Hajra, you are too funny! I loved this post! I think what actually occurs is that every now and then, (more now, less then) we need an outlet to tell the world, “Hey, look at me!” I may be a bit bias, but I think it’s totally worth it! ;) If you think about it, it’s actually those type of people that end up changing the world. It’s a conscious belief that we each have something that we can offer the world. When the right people listen, the world is changed because of it. So consider it a gift… yeah, let’s go with that! A gift! ;)

    Not to mention, when you’re helping others in the process, that certainly has to count for something, right? :D

    • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

      Hey Deeone,

      I did get you to write a short comment for me! Yayyy; I am a good therapist ;)  

      I want to change the world, yes I do; I am just doing it one laugh at a time! We need to tell others how good we are and that is okay because sometimes it is the only way we have to go ahead and to prove ourselves! I believe that. But we need to draw the line between saying something nice about ourselves and bragging! Otherwise it just gets to be a lot of hot air! 

      I like the part about the right people listening! :) Thanks so much for bringing so much value with everything you have to say! You are awesome! 

      I am all up for helping others; nothing more satisfying and humbling than that!

      • http://releasingmetoday.com/ Deeone Higgs

        You’re a great therapist. :) Hip Hip Horraaaay! :D

        There’s always room for Jell-O… and improvements, eh? :D

        Thanks for giving me a few great laughs today, as always. :) Have a great weekend, Hajra.